The Point of No Return

I've been talking a lot lately about being at a point of no return. It's been three years since I started trying to walk the walk and not just talk the talk with my faith. And it has hit home in the past couple of weeks that I am well and truly past the point of no return.

I have experienced and know enough of God to know that without Him, I am nothing and in that respect I could never walk away from Him completely. But I also now know enough of Him to know that giving just a part of me to Him is not enough. If I am really serious about being a follower of Jesus it is not enough to just simply believe. It is not enough to just try to be good. I have to lay my life down and die to self. I have to say in every situation, "not my will but Yours". And that is flippin' scary!

But why? Why is it so scary to put my life in the hands of the Creator of the universe, the One who knows it all, who sees the bigger picture, who knit me together and knew me before I was born, who made me for a plan and purpose... Why is it so scary to do the safest thing of all? When it's put like that, the better question would be to ask, why am I not putting my life fully into His hands?

Why am I trundling along in this half-hearted manner, not turning back but in no way pushing forward?

Jesus came that we might have life in all its fullness, so why settle for anything short of that? But the truth is every day that is exactly what I'm doing, settling for something short of what God has for us, by getting distracted by facebook, or something on the television. By shying away from making a stand for what I believe in because of the fear of persecution or by allowing my complete lack of discipline to keep me up  so late that I struggle to get up in the morning and start my day in a rush without even acknowledging God. In the vast majority of decisions I make each day, I choose the path that leads to death.

And it feels like the more I try to sort these things out, the more I fail.

So, how can I make the switch? How can I move myself on from this sticking point, somewhere just past the last exit from God's Highway?

It's clear I can't do it in my own strength. This change has to be empowered by God. But how do I get to a point where I'm letting God in, in order that I can break out of this cycle of death-inducing choices?

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak!

There is only one way forward. We have to change the culture in which we live. I'm not talking about the culture of the whole of Britain, not even the whole of London (yet!) but the culture within our own communities, our family units. We are called to be set apart, right? We are no longer of the world... so why are we still living like we are?

We have to embed certain behaviours into our patterns of life. We have to make reading the word as automatic as switching on the television. We have to make logging in with God, as automatic as logging in to facebook.

We are called to be set apart - yes. But we are not called to stand alone.

God saw that it was not good for man to be alone and created a companion for Adam. Left to my own devices I will wander off and busy myself with meaningless tasks, but put a group of people in front of me who are going to pray or read the word or worship together and I'm there. There is no shame in leaning on others to help us get the priorities and schedules of our lives in balance. And as we ingrain these behaviours into the rhythm of our lives they become like second nature - our new nature.

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24

We wouldn't expect a child to be able to feed, clothe and care for themselves straight away, so why do we expect that we should be able to spiritually feed, clothe and care for ourselves? Only once we have learned and practiced and matured will we be able to do these things on our own.

It is in standing together in unity - in love - to learn spiritual discipline that we can push forward, cast out our fear and live more fully in the hands of our Creator.