what if?

I have traded in my armour
piece
by
piece
and reverted to wearing my old and tattered
grave clothes.

I have given in to temptation to compromise
and in my weakness allowed my heart
to idolise
the things of this world.

I have allowed the mirage in my mind
to taunt me with half-fulfilled dreams
and dared to ask the question
what if?
what
if?

I have been foolish and unwise
and I have failed to recognise
the enemy's deceit -
his lies.

I have allowed him to knock me
off course.